The second step is to work toward understanding that the outcome is not your fault. And you can’t help but hold onto the lingering feeling that it was a huge opportunity and now a huge waste, and it takes up a lot of space in your head and sends you reeling. How many times, when you’re trying to make sense of what happened do you want to blurt out to your well meaning friends: “But you weren’t there, you can’t understand what happened between us.” Even though you want to believe your friends are right and the connection wasn’t there in the way you believed it was, you still know that you and your date connected in a way that was validating, exciting, and gave you hope. If you felt his intensity meeting yours, it was. If you felt it, and he affirmed it in his own way, it was there. There really was an amazing mutual connection. But then again, he might have lost his phone, right? Sometimes it really does happen.Įither way, the first step is to trust in your understanding of the experience. If it had been really great, he would have called you back, or at least texted. Your friends tell you there must have been some hint that you must have overlooked that no matter how strongly you felt-it wasn’t as reciprocal as you thought, and therefore it wasn’t meant to be. What did you do to drive this amazing person away? It sounds like a relatively small loss-after all, you only just met this person, how hard can losing him really be? But in addition to losing the possibility of something good, something hopeful, being left hanging after a great date can also make you feel like it was your fault. What happens when you’re left blindsided by this rejection you never saw coming after an amazing first date, or third date or even tenth date? But now a day has dragged into a week, and you start to realize that what you thought would be the start of something great is over before it had a chance to be as amazing as you know it could have been. You are left with a cross between hopefullness and disappointment, because the day isn’t over yet. The increasing tension as the day drags on and still no contact is so uncomfortable, confusing, and deflating. You wait for a day: every minute is grueling, anxiety riddled, and all-consuming. What happens when he says he’ll call the next day and he doesn’t? When he hasn’t returned your texts? I believe you can have a first experience with a person that’s so powerful it encourages you to imagine a future full of possibilities. I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in the certainty of an intense connection. There was absolute connection and immediate intimacy.
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